You Don’t Really Know

It’s impossible to know for sure what someone is thinking or how they’re feeling.

You can guess. You can assume. You can piece together what you see and what you hear, and you might even feel certain you’re right. But the truth is, you’re never inside their mind.

This is especially important to remember when you disagree with someone. You may think you know what they’re thinking—why they said what they said, why they acted the way they did—but you don’t. You’re filling in the blanks with your own story.

So here’s the better question to ask yourself:

Am I comfortable with the story I’m telling myself about how they feel and what they’re thinking?

If you are, then proceed. But if not—if that story makes you resentful, anxious, or stuck—it’s worth pausing. Check your assumptions. Ask questions. Leave space for a different possibility.

You can’t control how someone thinks or feels, but you can choose how you respond to what you think they think or feel.

That choice can make all the difference.